I was overwhelmed by the impact Joyce Meyer has had on our world and all the work she is doing. I became jealous, coveting her influence (despite God's commands to "not covet anything that belongs to your neighbor.")
As I walked through the church where the conference was at, which was in itself quite overwhelming, thoughts of "see all that this church is doing." and "you aren't doing a thing" kept trying to fight for control in my mind and heart leaving me with a feeling of wanting to quit trying to serve God altogether because I can't do it as well as all these other people.
Seeing the admiration my friend had for Joyce and how she loved her made me feel so small and insignifiacant in the kingdom of God (not b/c my friend made me feel that way but b/c of my own war within).
So, although the conference was awesome, by the time I got home I needed my own conference (meeting with God) after the conference. I had been at WAR and my heart and soul felt polluted. The subject Joyce spoke on Friday night was PEACE, but I felt less peaceful upon my return to home then before I went.
So, because it is MY SOUL that I'm in charge of and given responsibility for, I knew that I needed to go to battle on behalf of myself.
I believe God's words deeply, "Above all else GUARD YOUR HEART, for it is the wellspring of life." Prov. 4:23
"He who gets wisdom LOVES HIS OWN SOUL." Prov. 19:8
I LOVE my own soul. I want my soul to live in peace, joy and righteousness. So I knew I needed God's wisdom, God's words/"SWORDS" to fight with.
"We take CAPTIVE EVERY THOUGHT to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:5
So I spent hours on Sunday morning, BATTLING/FIGHTING, saying God's words and truths OUT LOUD.
Words like"
" Since there is JEALOUSY...among you, are you not worldly?...After all, what is Apollos? And what is Paul? ONLY SERVANTS, through whom you came to believe- AS THE LORD HAS ASSIGNED TO EACH HIS TASK. I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, BUT GOD MADE IT GROW. So neither he who plants nor waters is ANYTHING, but ONLY GOD, WHO MAKES THINGS GROW.......each will be rewarded according to his OWN LABOR." 1 Corinthians 3:3-8
"Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use? What if God......."Romans 9:21
I began thanking God for this experience receiving it as an opportunity to confess my sin and humble myself before him, to let his words sink deeper & deeper into my heart, and to grow firmer in accepting my place in his kingdom, the place He has assigned me. I know this will not be the last time I will battle over these kinds of thoughts but a work was done in me on Sunday morning. So when I gathered with my fellow believers to worship God, worshipping him had almost nothing to do with the music or worship leader but almost EVERYTHING to do with having wrestled with God in my own personal time with him, acknowledging that He is God and can do and use whatever/whoever he wants to and I will simply be thankful to have any part at all in HIs service.
So, my friends, I share this with you to remind you of the battle going on for our minds and thoughts, to remind us that God's words are the weapons we need to fight with, and that no one else can fight this battle for you. The more we interact with God and his words, the greater our worship and adoration of him will become. It is NOT ALL up to the worship leaders to provide us with "good worship." It has most everything to do with what has gone on with us and God throughout the week. May we fight the good fight and worship him with all our heart and soul. Blessings from Bombadil. Kristy Link
"I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, so that through my being with you again your joy in Christ Jesus will overflow on account of me." Phillipians 1:25 & 26
