I'm beginning a new stage in parenting. I deeply desire to know more of the inner-workings/ inner thoughts and feelings of my oldest son who has now entered the "preteen" world. The problem that has surfaced is he doesn't want to let me into that world. I was asking him some questions the other day about his life and quickly had the door slammed in my face when he responded to my statement of, "I'm your mom, I love you and just want to know you," with, "Well I don't want you to know everything about me." OUCH!!!!!! That was a hard pill for me to swallow. It's time for me to go sit in my "THINK" chair. So here is a little "THINK WITH LINK":
If I am going to do this parenting thing right and wisely,it is time for me to act according to knowledge and not how I feel (because I feel like locking him in his room until he tells me everything but for some reason I don't think that will work or is wise, do you?)
" Every prudent man acts out of knowledge"- Prov. 13:16
So what is the knowledge I need at this stage in my parenting????? I believe it is the same knowledge I need, not just in this stage of parenting, but in life- at every stage. It is the knowledge that;
PEOPLE NEED FREEDOM TO CHOOSE.
"LOVE does not insist on it's own way/it is not self-seeking." 1 Corinthians 13: 5
I understand the wisdom in this truth when I;
"Do unto others as I would have them do unto me." Matthew 7:12
When I am forced to do anything- I don't want to do it. Although I know God loves me and wants a relationship with me, I don't know if I would want that if it was forced upon me.. It is the freedom He gives me to choose that actually draws me into His arms. One of the hundreds of God's truths that I love is this;
"Now fear the Lord and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your forefathers worshiped beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. BUT IF SERVING THE LORD SEEMS UNDESIRABLE TO YOU, THEN CHOOSE FOR YOURSELVES THIS DAY WHOM YOU WILL SERVE, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. BUT AS FOR ME AND MY HOUSEHOLD, WE WILL SERVE THE LORD." Joshua 24:14 & 15
I understand this principle/truth/ piece of knowledge more clearly when I think of it in terms of marriage. I don't want to be with someone who is FORCED to be with me. I want to be with someone who has CHOSEN me because they want me. It is this truth, this way, in which God works. He has given us this time on earth to decide if we want to live life with him, live life his way out of a deep love and desire for Him and to be with Him forever or not. He will not force anyone to live with Him, serve him, love him if they don't want to. That wouldn't be love. Although God loves every soul and deeply desires each person to walk through life with him as their closest companion, heeding His counsel knowing it is best, He will not FORCE them. HE GIVES EVERYONE A CHOICE. As my heart deeply desires to know my son and have him share his heart with me, if I continue to try to force my way into his heart I will only drive him further away. I know this to be true in my mind- now I only need the strength, self-control ,patience and wisdom to keep my mouth shut and let him share with me as he desires, when he chooses, not because he is forced but because he desires and chooses to have his mom know him more.
May I encourage you, my fellow travelers, to first of all take all of your desires and inner struggles to God. It has been good for me to sit with Him and His Word to remind me of what is true so that I may walk in wisdom and hopefully in the end be blessed for it.
"The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways." Prov. 14:8
God deeply desires good for us. He wants us to have good relationships with all people and Him. He has given us his words to guide us in wisdom and truth so that life will go well for us. However, he will not force us to read the Bible. He will not force us to put into action what we read. He loves us soooooo much that He gives us the freedom to choose. Well, I have made my choice. Serving the Lord DOES NOT seem "undesirable" to me, but rather VERY DESIRABLE as it is my observation and experience that "all His ways lead to peace." It is only in serving Him and walking in an intimate relationship with Him that I find meaning, hope, joy and love. Whatever it is you are dealing with, may I encourage you to give the people in your life the freedom they need. Do not force your desires upon them. It is not love. Blessings from Bombadil. May your soul be watered and may you water another's soul.
Kristy Joy Link ( a mother who will CHOOSE to put duct tape over her mouth so she doesn't nag her son w/questions)
If I am going to do this parenting thing right and wisely,it is time for me to act according to knowledge and not how I feel (because I feel like locking him in his room until he tells me everything but for some reason I don't think that will work or is wise, do you?)
" Every prudent man acts out of knowledge"- Prov. 13:16
So what is the knowledge I need at this stage in my parenting????? I believe it is the same knowledge I need, not just in this stage of parenting, but in life- at every stage. It is the knowledge that;
PEOPLE NEED FREEDOM TO CHOOSE.
"LOVE does not insist on it's own way/it is not self-seeking." 1 Corinthians 13: 5
I understand the wisdom in this truth when I;
"Do unto others as I would have them do unto me." Matthew 7:12
When I am forced to do anything- I don't want to do it. Although I know God loves me and wants a relationship with me, I don't know if I would want that if it was forced upon me.. It is the freedom He gives me to choose that actually draws me into His arms. One of the hundreds of God's truths that I love is this;
"Now fear the Lord and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your forefathers worshiped beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. BUT IF SERVING THE LORD SEEMS UNDESIRABLE TO YOU, THEN CHOOSE FOR YOURSELVES THIS DAY WHOM YOU WILL SERVE, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. BUT AS FOR ME AND MY HOUSEHOLD, WE WILL SERVE THE LORD." Joshua 24:14 & 15
I understand this principle/truth/ piece of knowledge more clearly when I think of it in terms of marriage. I don't want to be with someone who is FORCED to be with me. I want to be with someone who has CHOSEN me because they want me. It is this truth, this way, in which God works. He has given us this time on earth to decide if we want to live life with him, live life his way out of a deep love and desire for Him and to be with Him forever or not. He will not force anyone to live with Him, serve him, love him if they don't want to. That wouldn't be love. Although God loves every soul and deeply desires each person to walk through life with him as their closest companion, heeding His counsel knowing it is best, He will not FORCE them. HE GIVES EVERYONE A CHOICE. As my heart deeply desires to know my son and have him share his heart with me, if I continue to try to force my way into his heart I will only drive him further away. I know this to be true in my mind- now I only need the strength, self-control ,patience and wisdom to keep my mouth shut and let him share with me as he desires, when he chooses, not because he is forced but because he desires and chooses to have his mom know him more.
May I encourage you, my fellow travelers, to first of all take all of your desires and inner struggles to God. It has been good for me to sit with Him and His Word to remind me of what is true so that I may walk in wisdom and hopefully in the end be blessed for it.
"The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways." Prov. 14:8
God deeply desires good for us. He wants us to have good relationships with all people and Him. He has given us his words to guide us in wisdom and truth so that life will go well for us. However, he will not force us to read the Bible. He will not force us to put into action what we read. He loves us soooooo much that He gives us the freedom to choose. Well, I have made my choice. Serving the Lord DOES NOT seem "undesirable" to me, but rather VERY DESIRABLE as it is my observation and experience that "all His ways lead to peace." It is only in serving Him and walking in an intimate relationship with Him that I find meaning, hope, joy and love. Whatever it is you are dealing with, may I encourage you to give the people in your life the freedom they need. Do not force your desires upon them. It is not love. Blessings from Bombadil. May your soul be watered and may you water another's soul.
Kristy Joy Link ( a mother who will CHOOSE to put duct tape over her mouth so she doesn't nag her son w/questions)
